I’m a survivor!! (and yes, you should absolutely know that when you read this I did type it as though I was in Destiny’s child – fist bumping the air with my head held high!).
You could have recently taken part in the London Marathon, a Tough Mudder event or a Crossfit challenge and be able to say you survived (well done to all those who have taken on these challenges!!). My triumph was a little closer to home and I’m pleased to report that I made it through the month! That’s right, my bank manager still likes me (the mortgage has been paid) and the utility companies still want my business! Whilst it’s not the same (nor a fair comparison) I feel as though I’ve run a marathon, competed in a Tough Mudder event and added a Crossfit challenge (like the cherry on top) just for sick giggles…or at least my mind & body feels that way!
It’s a relief to say I’ve made it through the month and yet it’s also very sobering when I think of the realisation that I now need to do the same again this month….forget your 30 day ab, shred or squat challenge, I’m on a 31 day Bear Grylls sort of challenge!
When faced with adversity it’s easy to throw in the towel, to think negatively, to feel the injustice to your situation. Even today, whilst sat with a few mums I took a deep silent breath in and the biggest (again silent) almost yoga like deep breath out. I did this because I somehow managed to fit my entire situation into 10 seconds worth of thinking and made myself feel sick with contemplation.
I find the most powerful stories are the ones that are genuine and real, so I’m fascinated to learn and understand what it is that enables people when faced with adversity to find the positives, the inspiration and the motivation to keep going and moving forward. I do still look for those positives on a daily basis… I’m thankful I have good friends to meet with, I’m thankful that despite my situation they don’t judge me, I’m especially thankful that the rose tea I drink everytime is only £2.60 (for 3 cups)!
Ok, lets be honest. The rose tea is good, but it’s not that good – despite my efforts (I’ve drank many cups) it’s unable to make my troubles disappear. It’s where my thoughts lead to that helps me to find some resolve, peace, the true grit & determination to keep trying. This is what I call ‘my why’ (and it can be applied to business, a new venture, an event or life in general) .
When I feel at my lowest, life is giving me a headache and I just want to be somewhere else (literally anywhere else) I look at my list of aspirations, hopes, dreams and importantly my son. They’re my why, that is – why I’m insistently putting my finger up at life and pushing forward despite the Saw movie like traps it has waiting for me! Why have I bothered to start up a company? Why don’t I just give in and do something easier? (they call it easier, I call it soul detroying!), why am I trying to better my life? when I have to constantly bat off the negative comments from people about my life choices – why do I do this and not just agree with them and give in?
For me, I want my son to have the opportunities he deserves. I want to have a life that reflects the work I put into it, to reflect every grazed knee I’ve had from being bullied and pushed to the floor by life, but getting back up everytime! I want time, that is time to spend with my son, time to develop and remember that I’m also Emma, not just Callum’s mum….and god forbid I actually want to be able to have a family holiday!! As you can see, my demands are completely unrealistic – what am I thinking?!
The reality is, I don’t want the world. I just want to have a life that incorporates the world I created – my son. I don’t want him to be second best to the 24/7 expectations placed on so many people. The early mornings, the breakfast in the car, the breakfast clubs, the rally driving done to make it to work on time, the long shifts – working through your lunch with the reward that you can work through your evening too (and if you’re really lucky you can work through until at least 11pm!) only to be told you’re doing it again tomorrow but that you must be better than yesterday and the next day, you need to basically be superhuman to satisfy their requirements!
So when times get tough, you feel as though you’re completely on your own and you have no answers only problems (and they are literally multiplying by the day) remember your why. Ask yourself, what really drives me? Where do I want to be? What did I set out to acheive? Believe that things can and will get better because you have your own motivation (that is completley personal and tailored to you) to make things better! It’s easy when you’re caught up in the hurricane of rubbish to mislay your why, so write it down. I’ve done this (I’ve also vlogged about it: Tiger in the ocean – virgin vlogger) so that when I really feel uncertain and pushed to my limits I can refer back to it, recharge, brush of my scraped knee and motivate myself to keep going because my why (and your why) deserves it!!